Three guys found themselves in Hell. Let’s call them Jerry, Kenny,
and Larry. They were a little confused at their present situation,
and were startled to see a door in the wall open. Behind the
door was perhaps the ugliest woman they had ever seen. She was
3’4″, dirty, and they could smell her even over the Brimstone.
The voice of the Devil boomed out, “Jerry, you have sinned!
You are condemned to spend the rest of eternity in bed with this
woman!” And Jerry was whisked through the door by a group of
lesser demons to his eternal torment.
This understandably shook up the other two, and so they both
jumped when a second door opened, and they saw an even more
disgusting example of womanhood gone wrong. She was over 7′ tall,
monstrous, covered in thick black hair, and flies circled her.
The voice of the Devil was heard again, louder than before,
“Kenny, you have sinned! You are condemned to spend the rest of
eternity in bed with this woman!” And Greg, like Jerry, was whisked
off, screaming and scratching, to his doom.
Larry, now alone, felt understandably anxious, and feared the
worst when the third door opened. And as the door inched open,
he strained to see the figure of…Cindy Crawford! Delighted,
Larry jumped up, taking in the sight of this beautiful woman,
barely dressed in a skimpy bikini. Then he heard the voice of
the Devil booming: “Cindy, you have sinned…”