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IN MEMORIAM

World-renowned on-camera and voice actor Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of trauma complications from repeated pokes in the abdomen. He was 75.

Many celebrities came to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, and Cap’n Crunch.

The grave site was covered with many flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never realized how much he was kneaded.

Born and bread in Minnesota, Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his life in later years was filled with turnovers. Not considered by many to be a smart cookie, he wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes.

In spite of being a bit flaky in his younger years, and a crusty old man in his twilight years, he was considered by many of his peers to be a positive roll model.

He is survived by his wife, the creative Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Dosey Dough, and his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

He was buried in a lightly greased coffin.

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